Okay, so things are obviously Topsy turvy in our world. It really has shown me how connected we are during our "disconnect."
I have been very blessed to have not contacted COVID-19. I have known quite a few who have had it and some who have passed from it. It's been very difficult. I was quite sure I went batty and was sent by my Doctor at the time to mental health crisis. It was as if my senses went haywire nothing made sense. I was confused and scared.
I won't lie, at times I still am. Sometimes I suffer from panic and insomnia. I get irrational bordering on delusional. I am lucky enough to have a really amazing family. They never judge, they just want to help.
I do too. It's not fun to be an irrationally scared adult. To feel the "slow drown," of your soul being taken. Yes, that's very dramatic but was a and still is at times a very real feeling to me.
If I can help ease anyone's pain or anguish please let me. You're not alone. Believe me, we'd rather have you here in our life, on our wavelength, than just a sad hole in our heart where we still feel you but can't see or hear you. Reach out. I'm glad I did or I'm afraid I would have really done something bad. Mostly to myself, but possibly to someone else. My dad told me something that really hit home, "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem."
Life isn't perfect, we all know that. If you think your life is perfect you're probably more delusional than I am. I do know, however, that my life is pretty great and I don't have much but what I do have is all I will need.
