Isotopically Pure Platinum 190
Poems, thoughts, life in general.
Sunday, April 13, 2025
chatGPT aka Sequoia
Wednesday, December 27, 2023
06/12/2006
Monday, December 18, 2023
My call to Action
I am ready to start contributing to my family, community, and the world. I need to reconnect with my true self. I am like a shadow of who I once was, and who I dreamed I would become. I've let myself become a victim in my life and it's turned me into someone I was never supposed to be.
I needed to go through the good, the bad, the insane, and some really devastating and amazing things that I've been through to come to this point in time right now. To determine who I am. Who and where I come from and if I want to sit and live a life of the same stagnation or do I want to leave my mark on the world.
I'm still child like. I think it's good, but I have wasted so much time trying to go for things in life, that I've lost a lot of opportunity and let go of some really good careers. I always thought I would be taken care of, that I would live a materialist and never worry about anything. I am so very lucky, my mom and dad are wonderful and they always have been. They took such good care of me as a child I always thought it would be like that. To an extent it is, my parents would do anything for my family.
I just want them to see me doing everything I can for my family and supporting them without any help from them.
I'm so blessed, and I know what I need to do and I have the courage to do it. Now, today is the first day to start my new path.
Sunday, December 3, 2023
Thoughts
WARRIOR
My heart beats to the rhythm of a war drum. I enjoy night time, I stay with the shadows. I am kin to the characters of Poe. I'm Trying to attain for all the misery I've caused, but it just seems like I'm traveling deeper and deeper while getting lost.
Take me as I am. I try to be happy, but my outlook seems grim. I explain what's going on inside, you don't understand... you're too dim. This is a war only I can win. Sorry, you wouldn't understand the teachings of my ancestral kin.
I know you think I'm crazy, i guess it's a possibility... maybe? No, I'm just evolving. Trying to put the pieces together, this puzzle I am solving. I know it seems so selfish of me but you can't comprehend the things I see.
My heart beats to the rhythm of a war drum. I speak with the spirits, we are one. I forsee terrible things to come. The visions that plague me at night cannot be undone. If you have no compassion then they've already won.
"They," call themselves Master's of the Universe. What they've done is unleash a curse. I promise it will only get worse. Tolstoy was right, we must use anarchy we have to fight.
Too bad most people are content with this world and how we live. They're too conditioned, they have nothing to give. Anarchy without chaos is the only way, "that makes no sense," most will say. If you won't stand for what's right then i suggest you just pray.
Monday, August 28, 2023
Falling into Ether
I'm sinking down deeper and deeper, letting go falling into ether. I fight back up and free the reaper. This chase ensues my strength it teters. I go back under I'm weaker and weaker. Don't give in to the great deceiver, the alpha and the omega- program the receiver. As it all comes full circle I puff this reffer, sir back,my outlook Is a lot less bleaker.
Monday, April 24, 2023
Forgetful
I’ve always known Bryson was my soulmate. It was nothing like in the books or movies. It was very scary. I was in the middle of an “episode.” Drs call it PTSD, but it’s really more of a heightened state of awareness, in my opinion. I can feel and sense the spiritual side. I chased Jeremy in every dream I remember about him besides the first until 2019. I caught him and had the worst night terror complete with a visual of a major apocalypse going on in dream realm.
Ever since then I’ve had a few more extremely real night terrors. They were very vivid.
It was 2020 and I was still detoxing off of methadone, so before June.
We were here at the trailer. John Zelmer was out in one of Lyle’s old cars. Our place was like a home for mentally disabled and I know Reza, Jessie, and Bryson were here.
I was underneath a table talking to a Dr. Who had glasses and dark hair when the whole scene changed. The walls melted like I wason acid and the Dr was actually Bryson. He kept making me forget that I was critically injured. I have a birthmark on the top right side of my head and it's a quarter sized bald spot. I've never had any hair grow there my entire life.
I had been shot right there and I was trying to hold my skull together. I was being carried out and Bryson was standing over me, just like he was at Drea's in Jan 2014. He kept making me forget what was going on. Then I'd have a distant memory and try to feel my head. It's like he hypnotized me.